Dear Mortals
by jayan0706
Summary: The characters from PJO and Kane Chronicles send us fan fiction authors letters on their opinions about some of the stuff people are writing. Read on if you're not opposed to the fact of being threatened at.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't not own the characters, though I seriously wish I did.**

Dear Mortals,

Listen up, punks. I've been reading some of your stories and I need to say that some of the junk you're posting is just _wrong._

As the demigods most of you are writing about are about my cupcakes, I feel that I need to make the message clear that if you post anything else like that I will- [ERROR, ERROR, SORRY, THESE WORDS HAVE BEEN DELETED DUE TO VIOLENT LANGUAGE]

So watch out.

Not-so-sincerely,

Coach Hedge

**Review, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase? Thank you! (Unless you didn't. Then no thank you)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Why had no one reviewed yet? Aw, I'm sad….. PLEASE REVIEW!**

Dear Mortals,

No offence, but why in Hades are some people pairing me with a _brick_?

I mean come on- it's a _brick_. An inanimate object. pairing me with it makes no sense. Don't any of you guys have a brain?

Sincerely,

Jason Grace


	3. Chapter 3

**I was bored, so I decided to post another chapter. My goal is to post one every day, or at least try to. **

Dear Mortals,

Why are some of you shipping me with Walt?

I don't like him- okay, fine, I do like him, but not in _that _way. Besides, **(A/N: Spoiler up ahead for people who did not read the Serpent's Shadow) **Sadie is Walt's girlfriend, and unless I want an early death, I will understand that Walt is taken. I'm pretty sure Sadie would back that up.

Sincerely,

Jaz


	4. Chapter 4

**Why had no one reviewed yet? I'm sad.:( Ah well. Here's today's chapter.**

Dear Mortals,

Why have some people started shipping me with Horus? **(A/N: No offence, Corus fans. I'm not trying to insult anybody, honest.)** That's just kinda wrong. For starters, I love Zia, which Sadie's always telling me is obvious. At least now I have something to prove her wrong with.

Also, Horus is a _god. _While Sadie might be fine with that, I think I really need to point out the fact he's, well, _old-_

*BAM*

*CRASH*

*CAW! CAW! CAW!*

Okay, I'm back, but I really need to go. Horus apparently objects to being called old, and- THEY DIDN'T JUST TOUCH MY SUITCASE! GIMME BACK MY SUITCASE!

My apologizes, I have to leave. I need to get my suitcase back from some bloodthirsty pigeons.

Sincerely,

Carter

**How was it? Good? Bad? please let me know in the reviews. Sorry if carter was a bit OOC there.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you Sanubis Lover for being my first reviewer. I can't tell you how awesome that was. I actually started jumping up and down. About your request, I'm not really sure I can really break them up because these are letters, but I'll try not to put to much Salt in here. Also, thank you to everyone else that reviewed. I really appreciate it. **

**I AM JUST SO HAPPY NOW! Here, take a cookie: (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)**

Dear Mortals,

Honestly, I just wrote a letter about shipping me with Walt, and then I found out that some people are shipping me with Anubis! Either that or the '-ubis' in 'Janubis' comes from another random person, which is highly unlikely.

Are you people _trying _to get Sadie to murder me?!

Sincerely,

Jaz

**Gah. My mom randomly signed me up for this math contest that's happening, like, TOMORROW, and if I don't score in the top ten, I have to pay the entrance fee. Ugh. Well, better go study. (Again)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Today I had the math competition, and my head hurts. So do my feet. Ugh. **

Dear Mortals,

Under normal circumstances, I could hardly care what you write in your so-called 'fan fictions'. But this case is special, and I shall tell you it in a very mature way.

WHO DECIDED TO SHIP POTHENA?!

**(A/N: No offence, Pothena shippers. I actually sort-of like Pothena, as in, I don't ship it a lot but I'm fine with it. It's just that in the books, Athena and Poseidon didn't get along very well, so I'm assuming that Athena would hate the idea of Pothena)**

It's horrid. It's impossible. I would never like that pathetic excuse for a man! We will never be together! Ever!

As the goddess of wisdom, I can tell you that shipping Pothena is most unwise. In fact if you ship it, you will never be seen again! In fact, I am already brainstorming plans on how you shall pay for this humongous offence. And trust me, they won't fail.

Sincerely,

Athena

Random Pothena Shipper: I SHIP POTHENA!

Athena: YOU! YOU GET DOWN HERE SO I CAN PUNISH YOU FOR YOUR CRIME! DIE!

Pothena Shipper: Uh, I'll pass.

Athena: DIE! DIE! DIE!

Pothena Shipper: No offence, Athena, but you sound like Coach Hedge.

*Silence*…..

**Okay, not my best one. I have to admit, making a Pothena shipper appear out of nowhere is pretty random, but when you're head aches you don't have many ideas. Here's a tip: Never attend a math contest. Ever. It hurts your brain. (Unless you're this super smart person who knows everything. Then you can enter)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry I haven't updated in what, two days? I know that really isn't much 'cause a lot of other people update every couple of weeks or something, but my chapters are a lot shorter than most, but then again, THEY'RE LETTERS.**

**BTW- If you want something else to read while waiting, you could read my one-shot, How to Ask A Question. Laters!**

Dear Mortals,

I get this is fanfiction and all, but how do you some up with pairings like me and Carter? I actually didn't find out until Zia threw fireballs at my head and warned me to stay away from her boyfriend. That was not fun.

Sincerely,

Rachel


	8. Chapter 8

**I had spare time after posting chapter 7, so I decided to write this one right after. **

Dear Mortals,

What are you, a bunch of cretins? Sure, one of the boys I like was dying and the other one is the god of death, but that doesn't mean I like sons of death gods!

Okay, sure, maybe Nico looks a bit like Anubis. But I've had enough trouble with my love life now, so quit playing around with it. Or else.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Sincerely,

Sadie

**I hope I didn't offend any Sadico fans there. *Ducks pie* Oh well….**


	9. Chapter 9

**My gods. This is like, the third chapter I posted today. Hope this makes you happy!**

Dear Mortals,

Why, in 276 stories have I betrayed Percy!? **(A/N: That was a made up number. Repeat: A MADE UP NUMBER. I have no idea whether or not it's true.)**

I would never do that to him! Ever! I swear on Styx!

Honestly, I'm pretty offended right now. Correction: _Very _offended. I would NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER betray him!

So get that stupid idea out of your heads!

Sincerely,

Annabeth


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi people. Okay, so this is the 10th chapter. I already have 15 reviews, which I am very happy about. :) Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Please review- it seriously makes my day. I'm always so happy when I get one.**

Dear Mortals,

Geez, why do you people always have to be so inconsiderate? Sure, I like Katie, but that doesn't mean you have to shout about it all over the place. Do you know what Clarisse did today? She held up a sign that said 'TRATIE FOREVER' on it and paraded it around camp with her stinkball siblings.

Dudes, you guys have just signed yourselves up for the biggest TP-ing EVER.

Revenge is sweet,

Travis

**Don't forget to hit the button that says, 'review' on your way out!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello people! I'm up with another update! Kinda tired though… I'm gonna take a nap after this.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Keep it up!**

Dear Mortals,

Wow. Turns out you fan fiction authors actually found a loophole through this no-dating thing. We swear off men, and then you make us fall in love with woman? Seriously? I haven't even _met _Reyna. Not to mention I heard she likes my brother. Or liked him. Or whatever.

You guys are a bunch of weirdos,

Thalia

**Good? Bad? Please let me know in the REVIEWS. I'll give you cookies. :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Ugh. I'm bored…**

Dear Mortals,

Just because I'm trying to befriend Nico doesn't mean I'm in _love_ with him. I have a girlfriend, for Zeus's sake! Besides, he kind of creeps me out….

Sincerely,

Jason

**If you read this, please review. Right now I'm going to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…**

…**.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hi everybody! I just got back home from school and I was like, well I don't have much homework anyways, so I'm going to update! Yay!**

Dear Mortals,

You mortals come up with the weirdest pairings. I mean Jercy? Seriously? Guys, he's my _cousin_. Well, not really since gods don't have DNA and he's Roman, but still.

M rated stories where the two of us love each other? Not cool guys, not cool.

Sincerely,

Percy

**Please leave me a review. I'm going to do a shout-out to everyone who's reviewed so far, so thanks to:**

**Sanubis Lover**

**Daniella**

**artemis20044002**

**Book worm 764**

**Horus**

**May a Chance**

**chocolatewriter**

**Guest (whoever you are)**

**NBrokenShacklesN**

**daughterofthehunt**

**ItTickleslikeCrazy**

**PurpleRoseFromYou**

**The reviews always cheer me up! Thanks for reviewing so far! Oh, and here's you're cookies: (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) **


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi everyone. I don't really know what to say now. I should probably be doing my homework, but whatever.**

Dear Mortals,

I know this is going to shock you, but me and Waltare breaking up. We just both really think that this isn't going to work out. Besides, I think I really like Anubis better and since he's in Osiris's court and all, I get to see him at least sometimes. I think Walt and Jaz are going to date instead.

HA! If you fell for that, than you obviously forgot it was April Fools day. Gotta go prank more people now… *cough*Carter*cough*.

Ta-ta,

Sadie

**And happy April Fools Day, everyone! I got pranked like, 10 times today… well, actually, that's a lie. I wrote this the day before April 1, so I would definitely have the chapter ready. but I actually might get pranked tomorrow. Or for you, that be today. Or maybe yesterday, if you're reading this on April 2. **

**Until next time! :D**


	15. Chapter 15

**I'm tired. I had loads of homework today… ugh.**

Dear Mortals,

Why do you pathetic beings assume that those so-called _heroes _will save the day? In practically all of your unworldly fanfictions, they are portrayed as successful and powerful. What you cease to mention, however, is that those heroes are nothing compared to me, Mother Earth!

Some of your fanfictions are even set after what you call the 'Giant War'. You deem me as merely some inconvenience, as something that can be brushed off and forgotten about!

Well rest assured that will not happen. I have waited for centuries to dominate the world, to see my superior children, the giants, topple Olympus once and for all, and I will not allow failure to seize us again.

When I kill all of you silly creatures, I will toss you into Tatarus. I will do the same to the seven.

Yours in immortalness,

Gaea

**Has anyone else here read Divergent? I'm reading the first book, but I don't like Tris so much. *Ducks pie* She seems a bit cold to me. **

**My friend actually spoiled the last book for me. I'm not going to write it down for those of you who haven't read it yet. Besides, you guys probably have better stuff to do… such as REVIEWING.**


	16. Chapter 16

**daughterofthehunt: Yes, you would definitely would be good on the debate team. That was very impressive.**

Dear Mortals,

Why are you guys pairing me with Jason? Piper saw some of the stories and got like, super ticked off. Long story short- dove poop is not a recommended accessory.

Okay, so maybe this is all just part of your crazy shenanigans, but I don't find it funny. I mean, M rated stories? Lemon? Hey, even this guy has limits.

Besides, i made a promise to Calypso. Gods of Olympus, who knows what's going to happen if she discovers these stories….

Mental Note: Don't teach Calypso how to navigate the Internet.

Yours in demigodness and all that,

Leo

**Was it bad? I wanted to add more, but my mind was like, _ so I finished it. Hope it wasn't too OOC… if it was OOC. I don't know. **

**PurpleRoseFromYou: Where are my cookies? -_-**


	17. Chapter 17

**PurpleRoseFromYou: Chocolate chip, please :)**

**Awesome Sauce: Because you asked for one, and because you gave me two, here's a cookie. (::) (I would have felt guilty if I hadn't gave you that) If you want to write letters, sure. Go ahead. Just don't copy my ideas, like, completely. That would be kind of unfair.**

**Cherries: This one is about romance, so if you don't want to read it skip it. The next chapter doesn't though, and I'm going to post that right after I post this, so you can read that.**

Dear Mortals,

Why are there stories about me doing you-know-what with Bast? They're rated M and disgusting. Not to mention completely untrue. Wait- Zia's coming! Gods of Egypt I have to go before she comes wrhfnlwjebflwjelwelwenvglwnvlwn

**Was it bad? *Yawns* I'm sleepy now. *Yawns again* Ugh…..**


	18. Chapter 18

Dear Mortals,

I don't mean to sound offensive and all, but I find it well, offensive that there's not much stories on me and my penguins. I mean, come on,- penguins are awesome! Like, did you know there's this African penguin that lives in Africa? And-

Okay, okay. Sadie's telling me that not everyone is as penguin-obsessed as I am. Well, actually, she's saying it in more of a Sadie-like way, but that's not a bad thing, if you ask me. Besides, penguins are so cool with their-

Ow! Sadie just hit me with a cushion. She says to shut up and let some people watch their TV in peace. Though she's not watching a show with penguins, so I don't get what the big deal is.

Penguins are awesome,

Felix

**I posted this after I read Cherries review. I'm trying to find more things to write about other than romances, trust me. **


	19. Chapter 19

**daughterofthehunt: Carter. And here ya go!**

**wizard of stories: Um, I'm not really sure how I could do that. It doesn't seem really likely to me, but if you have any suggestions, then I'll try and use those.**

**By the way- in case anyone's wondering why I don't reply to their reviews, I actually intended to do that but when I opened up the review section and was like, 'um, which ones did I already reply to already?' and confused and really stressed in case I made a mistake, so I decided to not do that. Also, some reviews I just couldn't find any other words other than 'thanks' to reply to, and it seemed kinda pointless to just write the word 'thanks' a gazillion times when i could just thank everybody who reviews in one breath. So THANKS! :)**

Dear Mortals,

Gods of Egypt, some people have the craziest ideas. By Ra's throne- what makes you think me and Carter are going to break up? We're going steady, in case you don't know. Sadie might think he's a dork, but I find that cute.

Even if some ideas are ridiculous, I find the Zarter fluffs more tolerable. People who make me break up with Carter- Read those and learn something.

Or at least try to.

Sincerely,

Zia

**PLEASE READ VERY IMPORTANT: Because of some personal issues, I might not be able to update as much as I used to. These 'issues' are actually unconfirmed- but they look like they could happen. What the issues are is my business, so don't ask. I might not be able to update as much, I might update as much as before. Just wanted to give you guys a heads-up.**

** The author,**

** jayan0706**

**P.S. I don't know why I'm writing this, but I feel like letting people know I'm female. Don't ask why,- I just felt like say- er, typing it. Laters!**


	20. Chapter 20

Dear Mortals,

This is kind of a heads-up about a book called, 'The Staff Of Serapis', which is a sequel to The Son of Sobek. That book included my brother (aka Punching Bag) and Annabeth's boyfriend. But fear not, because with me in it, The Staff of Serapis will definitely be better! (Oh ya, it also include's Annabeth. She's cool,- but's kinda nerdy, like my idiot brother)

You can read it at… huh? Someone already told you about it?

Barmy. Don't say I never did anything for you.

Ta-ta,

Sadie

**Yeah. This was kind of a heads-up for people who didn't know The Staff of Serapis existed… which included me, until I read Awesome Sauce's comment. Thanks to Awesome Sauce! Cookie for you. (::)**

**I actually found a place to read it online, and it was AWESOME. Definitely check it out, Rick Riordan fans! Review, and get cookies. ****(::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) **


	21. Chapter 21

**This is just a little A/N, to answer a question that one of the reviewers asked me. Normally, I would wait until the next chapter and include this in the author's note, but I know what it's like to want to read something really bad so… yeah.**

**DIRECTIONS TO READ THE STAFF OF SERAPIS!**

**1. Go online to , and write 'the staff of serapis' in the search engine. Note: Include the 'the' at the beginning. It's necessary.**

**2. There's one result. Click on it. **

**3. There's a yellow button labeled, 'Read in Browser', click that.**

**4. You need to click on the green arrows to move the pages. The real story is about 6 clicks in. (I think)**

**5. Voilà. Enjoy!**

**I take cookies as payment. :) (BTW- if for some reason you can't access it, let me know. I probably won't be able to really do anything, but I still want to know if my directions don't work.)**


	22. Chapter 22

**Okay, a lot of people are telling me that my directions didn't work. If you're searching on google, then it's the first result. If my directions still suck… don't kill me, okay? There's a reason I suck at procedural writing….**

Dear Mortals,

What is with a bunch of you guys calling me a Mary Sue? I find that pretty offensive… what did I ever do to you?

Sincerely,

Piper

**Nobody go, 'I think this letter made Piper seem like a Mary-Sue' or whatever, please. And I know this is kind of boring, but I am dead out of ideas. If you want, you guys can leave requests in the reviews, and I'll try to do them. **


	23. Chapter 23

**daughterofthehunt: A Mary-Sue is a character that is too perfect and usually makes you want to barf. I should have probably explained that in the previous chapter… stupid me.**

**1eragon33: Um, no offence, but I don't really get what that means. Could youb please explain?**

**Thank you to Kittyaceres and BlackAngelWings1010 for giving me suggestions. And thanks to everyone who reviewed! You people are awesome. :)**

Dear Mortals,

I am very busy with my pac-man game, so I shall keep this brief. What is with you _mortals_ calling me the 'wine dude'? I AM AN IMMORTAL GOD, and I should be treated with RESPECT! Peter Johnson-

DIE BLINKY! YOU SHALL PAY OF YOUR OFFENCE OF KING MY PAC-MAN!

Where was I again? Oh yes. Peter Johnson. Curse his soul to Tartarus for getting his own series and spreading that, that- _ungodly _title that bears a stain on my un-flawless reputation! As you mortals say, ' Stop that,- OR ELSE'.

Peter Johnson is an annoying, selfish brat that should not be given the honour of being showered with stories! In fact, that person should be ME!

What? You're saying I'm jealous? DROWN IN A BOTTLE OF MERLOT. I, Dionysus, almighty god of wine am definitely _not _jealous of anyone! How dare you even _think_ that ridiculous idea!

Never mind. I have a game to go back to, and (irresponsible) maggots/campers to attend, as well as a bottle of champa- um, a can of Diet Coke. That's what I meant to say.

In short, I have better things to do than waste my time with lowly beings like you.

Yours in immortalness,

Dionysus

P.S. If by chance, one of you mortals is actually clever enough to realize the truths of my statements, then you have my full approval to shun Peter Johnson and write stories about me and the splendid glories of alcohol.

**Wow. I enjoyed writing this one, even if it was a bit tricky. Sorry if I haven't updated for a while, I was kind of banned from the Internet, but I hope I can have the next chapter up by next year. Ha, ha, just kidding. Next week, maybe? *check my imaginary calendar* Hope so… my math competition results came back and my mother is not happy. It actually wasn't that bad… Top 25% in Canada, but honestly, nothing satisfies that woman. I could get first and she'd still find fault. Mothers. I actually got fifth in one contest before, but she said it was 'unacceptable' because I didn't get a prize. -_- See you all next chapter! And don't forget to review!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Okay. I actually got a couple of requests, s I won't be running out go ideas anytime soon! Please continue to send those in. Also, I know how people say I shouldn't do romance so often, and I want to say, yes, I actually try not to, even if it doesn't show that much. It's just that there are so many… unusual pairings, so that sometimes gets my attention.**

**This letter will be about romance because someone requested it. If you have a problem with it, then maybe you could send an request without romance to help me along. Thank you!**

Dear Mortals,

How come sometimes you guys do threesome pairings? I don't even get how that works,- Annabeth was no help. Last I checked, she was blabbing about the logic of pairings using tons of complicated words, which is the downside to dating who I'm sure is the Smartest Girl On Earth.

And if it wasn't weird enough, the people you usually pair me with in those stories are my _cousins. _Well not really, but still. I mean Thalia? She's a friend. Besides, she's a Hunter, and if Artemis discovers those stories, I'm a jackalope.

Hope you understand,

Percy


	25. Chapter 25

**Hello people! I'm back! And I'm updating, which is probably very obvious.**

Dear Mortals,

I am so much better than Sadie Kane! How dare you suggest otherwise!

What kind of people are you?

Seriously, why are you making _her _the hero?

Ugh,you guys made me frown! I'll get wrinkles!

Why don't _I _get any adoration? I am so much prettier than

You mortals don't know what you're talking about, I'm better than Sadie and my traitor sister Lacy, who follows Dumpster Girl! I'm so much prettier, so worship _me _already! Everybody loves a glamorous heroine!

Later losers,

Drew

**Wow. This one was harder than I expected, but I finally finished it! Yay! By the way, I've decided that I'll try not to include the reasons why I'm sometimes slow at updating here,- I'm starting to feel like the barrel of bad excuses, which than I feel guilty because I really like writing for you guys. And I don't mean to sound like a whiner. See you next chapter!**


	26. Chapter 26

**OMIGODOMIGODOMIGODOMIGODOMIGODOMIGOD! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU PEOPLE WHO REVIEWED! I AM SO HAPPY YAY!**

**!**

**Okay. I think I calmed down a bit. **

**So today, I decided to update, and then I come and realize I've got, like 113 reviews and start jumping up and down while squealing. SUCH AN AWESOME SURPRISE. And it really helped that I was already having an awesome day today, so COOKIES FOR EVERYONE! (::) (::) (::) (::)(::)(:::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(:::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(:::)(:::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)**

**Now for the chapter.**

Dear Mortals,

_Wow. Never expected that to happen…. _

Is there a problem, Seaweed Brain?

_NO, of course not, it's just-_

Regrets?

_Gee, Annabeth, cut the guy some slack._

__**Yeah, everyone knows he's only got eyes for you. **

_**Yeah. Sometimes you guys act so lovey dovey it makes me feel sick. Um, no offence. **_

___Um, none taken. I think…._

**Guys. Shouldn't we introduce ourselves? They might not know who we are… **

__I was about to say that. Just in case you haven't guessed, I'm Annabeth, daughter of Athena.

___Okay. Hi, I'm Percy._

_Jason._

__**This is Piper.**

_**I'm Frank.**_

**And I'm Hazel. We're the seven.**

_Minus Leo._

**Yeah, minus Leo. He's um…**

_Busy._

__**Yeah, busy. That's a good word for it. You see…**

**He's lovesick.**

_**With this girl.**_

___Her name is Calypso._

Of course, Percy of all people knows her name…

_**Not again….**_

__**I'm getting a headache. **

** I'm pretty sure it'll be worse when Calypso arrives…**

_ Wait,- WHAT?! She's coming? Oh man…._

Forgot to buy a gift for your sweetheart?

_Annabeth, I swear, it's not like that!_

Oh, really? What's it like, then?

_It's just that I left, and I tried to-_

Go back?

_NO! I tried to release her, because um, how do I put this… well, I don't love her the way I love you, but that doesn't mean she deserves what has happened to her. To have her heart broken over and over. I should have made sure the gods kept their promise, but I didn't. If she comes here… I'll be glad that she's out, but it might cause a lot of tension. Please don't get the wrong idea._

_… I'm no expert on love, but I'm pretty sure she's getting the wrong idea._

__**No, duh.**

_**…Let's change the topic. We're here about Leo, not to argue over relationships. Annabeth?**_

__*long silence* Fine. I'll do it later. Let's get down to business.

**Finally. Thank Artemis that's over!**

*menacing glare*

**Ugh, I mean, let's start!**

_So here's the thing. See, apparently Leo vanished somewhere for a few days after an attack on the ship._

_Yeah. And then she comes back, and he's…_

__**Different. **

_**Uh-huh. And none of us knew what was going on. **_

___Yup. And now he's getting really distracted._

_Like the time he walked RIGHT INTO the mast._

__**Or the time where he couldn't find his work belt.**

**Which was on his waist. **

_**Or when he started staring off into the distance and started muttering things like, 'I'm coming back for you, just wait a while longer'.**_

Even I have to admit that was pretty creepy.

_Ditto. I almost thought he was possessed so something. But the time I think he was the most distracted was when he drank five cups of his 'Leo's Awesome Demigod Lattes'. _

_Hyperactive person alert._

___AND he hogged the washroom._

Really? I seem to remember that you two fought over the bathroom like kindergarteners.

_**Busted.**_

** Ouch.**

_We did not fight over the bathroom like kindergarteners! It was mine, I got there first!_

_Don't worry Percy. Nobody believes you._

__**You guys didn't even notice it was the GIRL'S washroom.**

And there were other ones you guys could have went to. Did you really think there was only the one?

_Gee, thanks. You guys are the best friends ever. I feel so loved right now._

_**Anyways, we didn't know until one day Annabeth found some fanfics about it.**_

__**Which was kind of hurtful, because Leo is our friend. He could have told us!**

_But he didn't. Instead, we found out through you guys._

__**I guess this is just our way of saying thanks for keeping us up to date about that. I was getting worried.**

_Thanks, guys._

Thank you.

__**Thanks!**

_Thank you all._

___**Thanks. Even if some of you guys are calling me something like 'panda man'.**_

___LOL._

_**Shut up.**_

Boys!

_What?_

__**Not you. Those two.**

_Why us?_

**Because you're complaining. Let's sign off already.**

_Fine._

We're signing off in three…

_Two._

___ONE!_

_**Sincerely,**_

_** The Seven (Minus Leo) *Dramatic music plays for no reason***_

**Man that was longer then I expected. Thank everyone who reviewed. I haven't even read any yet- I just know I have a lot, so I'm going to read them now. This is why no one has a shout-out or anything, in case you're all wondering. **

**See you next chapter,**

** jayan0706**


	27. Chapter 27

**Hi people. I have no idea what to say here. **

Dear Mortals,

FIVE REASONS WHY THALIA COULD NOT BE WITH NICO DI ANGELO=

1. I'll turn Nico into a jackalope.

2. She's a Hunter. Men, honestly. And even some maidens-how could you have become so led astray? My Hunters do not have affairs with males.

3. I'm pretty sure Thalia has no interest in Nico romantically. Before she saw sense, Thalia liked Luke, and those two boys are very different people.

4. In a way, the two of them are cousins, so the idea that they would be dating I find a little… unusual.

5. Did I mention I'd turn him into a jackalope? If so, that definitely needed to be stated twice.

Godly yours,

Artemis

**Was it boring? I actually started writing it from Thalia's point of view, but then I got the idea to write it from Artemis' mind instead, so yeah. See you all next chapter! :)**


	28. Chapter 28

**Hi everyone! I just wanted to say something to wizard of stories, who gave me the idea of chaos stories about thalico or thaluke. I'm working on that, but I actually hadn't even heard about stories like that, so I want to read a couple first to get what they're like. I apologize for not doing it so far, I will post one like that eventually. Now on to the chapter!**

Dear Mortals,

I heard the seven (whoever they are) wrote a letter to you thanking you for telling them that Calypso and Leo were dating or whatever. I guess this is similar, but from me thanking you for informing me what my brother Punching Bag has been doing.

FYI- Punching Bag is Carter, but I don't really want to talk about him right now. I am NOT HAPPY with him. Let me repeat- NOT HAPPY.

I don't know what in Osiris made him think he could keep this big a secret from yours truly, but he's going to regret it. As soon as he comes out of the shower, that is. I'm not going to strangle him while he doesn't have his clothes on,- I'd be scarred for LIFE.

But in case you people do want to know how I'm getting my sweet revenge, here's a hint: Itching powder, pants, date with Zia.

Ta-ta,

Sadie


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